I think what struck me most was that, as I watched her, I was not at all surprised. Perhaps because I view Michelle as I do many of the black successful women around me. I expected her to shine. I expected her to get up on that stage and put it down. I knew that her words would flow beautifully and cause heartfelt reactions from all who were watching. No surprise at all. Not to me.
But, as I sat and listened to her, I wondered how many people watching were in awe that this black woman could speak so articulately, express herself so eloquently, show herself so well. Previous to now, some probably thought nothing more of Michelle than perhaps that she was the typical 'angry black woman' of which everyone speaks of so often. (No surprise, as the media played a part in broadcasting such an image.) But, I know for certain that there were those watching that did not know that black women like her, existed. And my best guess is that for some folks in white America, this was their first exposure to a black woman of her caliber. But, what actually concerns me...is that there were also black folks who did not know that black women like her existed, either. There were likely black girls watching somewhere who looked at and listened to Michelle Obama and thought...wow...I've never seen anyone like that. And what I hope, even more than convincing the majority in America that her husband is the right man for the presidency, is that she convinced some little brown girl that they too can be like her. That they too can be a professional, intelligent, articulate, educated, beautiful, strong black woman...and that people will listen and want to know what they have to say. I hope that she represented to some little brown girl that, despite all of the negative rhetoric they've heard and all of the derogotory images they've seen, a vision of what they're futures could be. And most importantly, I hope that she made segments of black America who didn't know before, realize that she is not at all the exception, but the rule.
Check out the speech here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26400281
- Mood:
pleased
A few weeks ago, CNN aired a special entitled "Black in America." If you missed it, check out the link: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2008/black.i
Soledad O'Brien, who is, if I'm not mistaken, Cuban and Black, reported on varying aspects of the issues faced by Blacks in America. She focused on the obstacles of Black family, Black women and Black men. I thought it was an interesting piece, which was perhaps marketed in the wrong direction. In watching it, I found no real revelations, only visual clips of the information I already knew. That let me know that this series was probably more for other communities of folks who may ask the question...Well, what's so hard about being Black in America? When I viewed it from that perspective, it was clear. The purpose of the series was to give other people a peek into not only what our daily struggle is, but a little bit into why our struggle is. I think perhaps, many viewers were overly critical about the content and presentation of the special. But, we have to understand, no single series can ever completely tap into and reflect all that is good in or ailing our communities. It can only bring up the subject enough to begin to generate conversations in places where before they had not been.
At any rate, I took particular interest in the segment that focused on Black women. The main topics surrounding this segment included single motherhood, single women unable to find suitable Black men for relationships and marriage and the disparity of HIV/AIDS infection amongst Black women. While none of the topics actually surprised me, some of the raw numbers had me taken aback. According to the report:
- Approximately 70% of all Black children are born to unwed mothers
- Approximately 40% of Black women are not and may not marry
- AIDS is the leading cause of death among Black women between the ages of 25-34. In Washington, DC, one out of every 20 Black residents is infected with HIV.
All of these statistics are staggering for one reason or another...and strangely enough, I think all can be found to connect to each other. None of these scenarios exist in solitude. Just taking a stab at one of the many ways to connect these three particular issues...Black women perceive that their chances at marriage may be slim. With the absence of a sole monogamous partner, they may become involved in various sexual relationships over their lifetimes. In the search for intimacy in men who have not committed to them, what women may view as safe sex (with one man), may in fact be the most dangerous sex there could be. We want to feel as close to commitment as possible...even when it's not the reality. If we imagine ourselves to be in a committed relationship, than we are more likely to let down our guards...emotionally and physically...i.e. no condoms and no birth control. Abscence of either of these can lead to many things...namely children who will be born to single mothers AND the opportunity for HIV to pass from one person to the other. Hmm. It's not a strange chain of events at all, is it?
And that's what makes it scary.
- Mood:productive
I spent the greater part of today mulling over this thought of self-love and the comparison to how we love others or view how others love us. There are ways we treat ourselves, that if others did it, we wouldn't be too appreciative...and we may not even stand for it. We don't always take the time to treat ourselves well, to take care of ourselves...to truly love ourselves. It's in a lot of things we do. The fact that as women, we are driven to look a certain way on the outside...we won't miss a hair, nail or wax appointment. But, we will reschedule or cancel a doctor's appointment in a minute! The inside stuff that 'nobody sees' becomes less important, as long as our exterior is kept looking tight. The metaphor is almost overwhelming to me. We aren't really taught how to love ourselves from the inside. Society, the media, everyone can tell us how to 'treat ourselves well' on the outside. But, that's the easy part.
I always felt that I treated myself fairly well. But, when I hold my self-love up to the measuring stick I use for how I love others/how others love me, I don't think it measures up nearly as well as I'd like. But, how does one do that? No one really teaches little brown girls how to love the inside stuff, as well as the outside stuff. So, who will teach the brown women?
- Mood:
contemplative
Wow...so this is my first entry in this journal. This means that I am moving forward with my personal project focused on understanding the issues that black women face and how best to cope with and move on from them. I am still in the initial stages of formulating the project, but I feel quite strongly about it and know that I must see it through.
Perhaps I should begin with a little background on this whole 'strong black woman' thing. I know that these words cause some to cringe, roll their eyes, shrug in indifference or wrinkle their brows in confusion. But, we who are black and female know that strength and survival are in our genes and in our ancestry. I will never claim that strength is unique to the black woman. Not at all. But I will claim that our particular brand of strength is unique. In an ever-changing society, black women have stepped up to take responsibility for their families and communities in a time where our black men are not always able to do so. It can be hard. It can be hard to take care of everyone else, make a living, keep a home and keep moving forward...sometimes by ourselves. Our strength is necessary to face and survive our everydays. Our strength is necessary to raise our children in places that would try to snatch their goodness away. Our strength is necessary to provide for our families - those related by blood and those who are not. Our strength is necessary to press on after continuous heartbreaks and heart-aches in sometimes dealing with black men who also may be struggling to understand who they are and who they are meant to be.
Being a strong black woman is sometimes mistaken as a choice. Sometimes folks are confused and think we just want to be independent, controlling and doing our own thing. It's not that at all...it is out of necessity, be it perceived or actual, that we put up our walls, go out into the world and take it on like we're fighting for our lives. The thing that I don't think most people know is that, given the opportunity, most of us would give it up in a minute. The tough exterior, the perceived attitude, the fighter's stance...all of it. But sometimes, even when given the opportunity, we don't let it go because we simply don't know how. It's like this...your alarm clock goes off every morning at 6:00 AM for years and years and years. Your body becomes trained to wake up at that time and get ready for work. Eventually you retire and have no further use for that 6:00 AM alarm. However, because your body is used to responding to that jolting sound early every morning, you still wake up at 6. It takes awhile for you to un-train yourself enough to sleep in. Well, that's us. Years of training are hard to reverse.
One day I will take more time to go into the history of black women in America. But, for now, just know that this journey is about learning to understand what some of our patterns are and what causes them. It's about getting to the bottom of it so we can feel more comfortable seeing what's on the other side of that strength. So here we go...
- Mood: contemplative
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